When Solo Female Travel Goes Wrong, it’s no Hozhoni

Telling it like it is, not having fun on my solo trip

Have you ever taken a solo female travel trip and just felt that you were done with it and that you wanted to go home? Were you lacking that feeling of Hozhoni you sought? (Hozhoni is an American Indian Navajo word meaning a feeling of being filled with beauty, harmony and balance.)  That feeling you were expecting to feel on your empowering solo female trip.

Did you worry that you would be seen as a ‘failure?’

Don’t worry. You are not the only one this has ever happened to. I asked this question in a female travel FaceBook group and had SO many responses from ladies that had experienced this. All who took the decision to cut their trip short didn’t regret it.

This has been quite a hard post to write. I wanted to be honest about my experience, but was worried about coming across as whiny or ungrateful. Because, you know: #1st world problems!!

My Experience

My experience of solo female travel goes wrong took place this summer on the North Coast 500. I’d been planning to drive this route for two years. I was excited to take detours off the main route, complete lots of scenic walks that I’d read about and enjoy wild camping with just me and Bean, my dog. (You may have met him if you follow me on Instagram – he has his own highlights reel! If not, check him out here: www.Instagram.com/travelingerelax.com).

I was looking forward to exploring the area in depth, so much so that I’d allocated three weeks to my trip. I was on a strict budget, planning to wild camp half the time to save on site costs and to discover all the little corners of the north of Scotland.

A Great Start Full of Hozhoni

My trip began well. The weather was being good to me, though everywhere feels warm coming from Shetland! I drove from Aberdeen across to Inverness, stopping at a forest en-route. It was my first forest walk for months, living on Shetland made this particularly exciting for me: I love trees and there are no forests in Shetland, there are barely any trees. We met no-one on the marked trail and both Bean and I revelled in the smells of the forest. The sun filtered through the boughs, decorating the way with dappled rays of light and our footfalls were soft on a carpet of pine needles.

I went onto visit the Clava Cairns, just outside Inverness and had a cuppa in the enclosed picnic area. It was a pretty idylic beginning. My hozhoni was strong and full.

So what went wrong? I believe it was a combination of factors, that added together to mean that the trip just wasn’t as much fun as I had anticipated it to be.

My First Night of camping as a solo female traveller

I had made the decision to utilise a campsite that first night, rather than jump straight into wild camping. I was travelling anti-clockwise and knew the west was more remote than the eastern start of the NC500 route north of Inverness. My rationale being that this would mean more wild camping opportunities.

I chose to spend the night at Fortrose Campsite, a dog friendly campsite, hoping for the opportunity to see the dolphins at Channory Point. The campsite was almost full, but I still had a lovely view of the sea. After setting up camp and having dinner I decided to walk the short distance to the point in the hope of seeing the dolphins. It was a lovely evening, the sun was out, the sea was lapping across the shingle beach, and I was enjoying the feeling of freedom and anticipation that comes at the start of a trip.

Imagine my excitement when nearing the point I could see a small crowd of people scattered along the beach. As I got closer, carefully picking my way over the pebbly surface, I could see in the distance dolphin fins, bobbing in and out of the water, arching backs breaking the waves as they fed on the salmon run.

Issue 1: Bean is so antisocial

Unfortunately, this is when my solo female travel experience started to fail, as that’s as close as I could get. (So photo above from Shutterstock). I had no-one with me who could take Bean for me. ). I knew if I approached the crowd, many whom had their beloved pet dogs with them, Bean would begin barking and lunging fiercely at the other dogs. He’s a rescue and has always been timid. These days, this fear comes out as aggression. I was hoping that having more exposure to other dogs than he gets at home might cause him to worry less and be more accepting. I wasn’t ready to give up on my dream of Bean and I road-tripping together.

So there you have issue one – Bean wasn’t as happy about the road trip as I was. We managed to find several walks where we were the only people around, or others were scattered so far away as not to be considered a threat.

In addition

However, the popular walks and beaches, those that are well advertised as worth visiting on the North Coast 500 route, formed small hubs of activity.I lost count of the number of times I had to ask people to keep their dogs away as Bean wasn’t good with other dogs – the call of ‘it’s ok, he’s friendly,’ as their furry friend dashed up to say hello resulted in me having to hang onto Bean for dear life. Bean was most definitely not feeling any hozhoni and he was contributing to mine feeling as little squished and soggy.

Have you heard the phrase about buckets being full? Well Bean’s very quickly filled up and overflowed. As we were not returning home he was on high alert at every stop, with no chance for switching off. Looking back I feel really bad for him, but at the time it was frustrating and worrying in equal measures. When we finally got home he crawled onto the sofa and slept, not even pausing to greet my daughter.

Issue 2: Wild Camping (also known as anxiety kills hozhoni). This one is connected to solo female travel at least!

Issue number two was wild camping. I had wild camped with a friend on Unst as a practice run and had the best time. I think I had an idealised impression of what this road-trip would be like: finding quiet little corners to camp with amazing views. Bean had come on that trip too, but as Unst is so sparsely populated and people hadn’t started travelling yet due to Covid restrictions, there were no tourists around and only a handful of locals. We didn’t need to avoid people – there were none to avoid! So it was totally relaxing and so much fun. I knew where I wanted to camp on the first night and it was easy to find a spot on our second.

So I hadn’t counted upon my anxieties being an issue on my North Coast trip. However, from mid-afternoon onwards I found myself worrying about finding a space to camp – even though the sun didn’t set util around 10pm!! Solo female travel requires us to be super vigilant and my anxiety was in overdrive.I found a lovely place one evening, but only one. After a day of worrying, and camping in a kind of layby behind a road, I decided to just use campsites.

My balance was pretty out of sync at this point. I had the beauty surrounding me. However, my hozhoni was leaking away rapidly.

I thoroughly recommend Windhaven Campsite on the north coast. It was perched on a cliff top, had incredible views across the sea and the friendliest of staff. It also has a little cafe where you can get breakfast, always a bonus!

I then moved onto Shegra, a honour based campsite with no facilities, though there is a toilet a five minute drive up the road at the John Muir carparks. This was also a lovely place, so remote and rural, peaceful with just the sound of the waves.

Issue 3: Nothing to do with solo female travel – Fitness, or my lack thereof…

Issue number three for me turned out to be my lack of fitness. After a long, dark winter in Shetland, during which I had pretty much hibernated, followed by four months of lockdown. I knew I wasn’t in my best shape physically. But it was a shock to me just how unfit I was. My hips were aching and by the end of the day I just needed to go lie down in my tent.

The breaking point for me was when I was planning to take an 8 mile round trip walk out and back to Sandwood Bay beach. This was due to be a highlight of the trip for me, but I found I couldn’t face the walk. As I already felt tired from all my daily walks, I worried about exhaustion, making it back, and encountering all the dogs. I decided to give myself a rest day and see how I felt after that.

So I took a day to just laze about my campsite, snooze and literally do nothing. But the next day dawned without me having the inclination to go on any walk, never mind an 8 mile trek. There was still a definite absence of hozhoni to be found.

Making a decision

After 2 days of contemplation, I packed up and drove the entirety of the west coast in one day. From Shegra to Loch Carron. A long four hours, driving along winding single track roads, through dramatic down the Bealach na ba Pass. A short stop at Applecross for refreshments. Excellent fish ‘n’chips and a gorgeously decadent creamy ice-cream eaten on the shore of the Loch Carron served as dinner.

Looking back, I think part of the problem was that I had come from Shetland. And the North coast is remarkably similar to the landscape I had left at home. Vast swathes of heather covered boggy moorland? Check. Pristine, soft white sandy beaches surrounded by cliffs and rock formations? Check. Incredibly clear blue, turquoise sea? Check. Bit windy and not quite warm enough to sit out? Check…. So the beaches were a bit bigger and the mountains and cliffs a little higher. But basically it was all a bit samey. Which meant I was less impressed than if I’d visited from a city. Don’t get me wrong, it was stunningly beautiful, dramatic and had many. many breathtaking views. As I said… #1st world problems! And definitely not a problem connected to solo female travel!

Getting to my point

So what point am I trying to make here? Mainly, that it’s OK if a trip didn’t turn out to be what you anticipated or expected. It doesn’t mean you (or I) won’t go on another solo trip. It doesn’t even mean that we won’t go back. ( I’d love to rent a cottage somewhere on the west coast and explore the area another time). It just means that the timing wasn’t right, or that what we needed from. That trip didn’t materialise the way we expected. Life is unpredictable.It often trips us up. But we just pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and continue.

No hozhoni? Keep on searching

So to answer my earlier questions. If your solo female travel goes wrong? The answer is no, you are not a failure. You didn’t wimp out. You aren’t a coward. What you are is a strong independent woman who acknowledges her needs. Applaud yourself for listening to your inner voice and your needs. And you go on to plan your next trip.

That feeling of Hozhoni is out there for you.

You got this! 🙂

Read more travel-related blog posts here.

Have you experience a solo female travel trip that didn’t work out the way you hoped? Or that you returned home early from? share you experiences below