Journey Far, but Travel Within
Solo travel is not just about exploring new places (though it absolutely can be); it’s also about embarking on a personal journey that can transform your life in unexpected and profound ways with a journey within.
‘Life shrinks or expands in proportion with one’s courage,’ Anaïs Nin once said. Nin was not a woman who shrank from life. Her writing was before its time and was an act of courage and early feminism. The act of travelling somewhere solo, as a woman over 40, is one which similarly requires initial courage and which propels us into an expansion of our lives. We will not return the same.
Rediscovering our independence.
Once we overcome the fear of being alone, we may actually come to love the empowering sense of being in charge of your own destiny – or on a smaller scale – you’re in charge of where you go; what you choose to see; how long you want to spend in that museum absorbing the art, or just sitting watching the world go by at a pavement café. There is something very powerful about making decisions just for you.
When was the last time you made a decision for yourself without considering anyone else’s needs or wants? First we are a daughter, then often a partner or wife and a mother, an employee… I think I may have been 45, when I began to make decisions just for myself.
Such decision making led to my life being forever changed since I took my first solo trip abroad to Italy in 2019. The trip is one of those pivotal before and after moments in life. I spent 10 days, split between Venice and Rome and was inordinately pleased with myself for having navigated airports, boat buses and trains along the way. I faced my greatest fear of being lost – and dealt with it. I’m still here and grew greatly in my self-confidence, which had been a bit bashed following a difficult divorce a few years previous. I also discovered a passion for travel that had been hidden away and pushed down by fear. It helped me recover my independence. It gave me the confidence to start this blog. So many great changes have come from taking that first step to travel solo as a woman.
Trusting Your Instincts
Making decisions for yourself whilst travelling solo, also builds the ability of you being able to trust your instinct. In relationships it’s all too easy to go along with your partner, even if you have a nagging feeling about it. Alone and independent, solitude strips away that reliance upon others to make the decisions; your intuition is strengthened. Anxieties and struggles with decision making lessen as you come to trust yourself more.
Embracing Solitude
How else can travel change us? One significant way is by learning to embrace solitude. Many women I have spoken to speak of the fear of loneliness if they travel solo. I believe that this fear requires a mindset shift, there is a difference between being alone and loneliness. One does not necessarily equate with the other. The initial discomfort of being alone leads to us being able to reconnect with ourselves. Solitude — time alone with oneself — is “a basic human need” and a sign of healthy emotional development, says Virginia Thomas, PhD, a professor of psychology at Middlebury College in Vermont. It will allow us to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves, our needs and our desires. It allows us time to reflect and forgive ourselves and to make plans and to dream.
Have you read ‘Wild,’ by Cheryl Strayed? When it first came out in 2012 I was lucky enough to go to an author event in my local bookshop and meet her. At the time I was reeling from my unexpected divorce. Her memoir chronicles her transformative solo hike on the Pacific Crest Trail after facing immense personal challenges, including the death of her mother, a broken marriage, and struggles with addiction.
Strayed embarked on the journey as a way to escape her grief and turmoil but discovered that the physical challenges of long-distance hiking forced her to confront her emotional wounds, she had no place or distractions from her thoughts and feelings. By the end of her journey, she found a sense of healing, strength, and personal redemption. The hike helped her regain a sense of self-worth and purpose.
Cheryl’s words immediately made me want to up and leave on a journey of my own to find out who as was when I wasn’t being a wife, mother and teacher. I had lived within those roles for so long, I knew nothing about myself, other than I felt lost. It took me another seven years to begin that journey for myself, but like Cheryl, I knew that “if I allowed fear to overtake me, my journey was doomed. Fear, to a great extent, is born of a story we tell ourselves, and so I chose to tell myself a different story from the one women are told. I decided I was safe. I was strong. I was brave. Nothing could vanquish me.” ―Cheryl Strayed. Like Cheryl, you may find yourself feeling lost, but embarking on your own solo journey, no matter how big or small, can help you find the strength you didn’t know you had. You need to hold onto the belief that your fear of the unknown will not stop you from taking steps towards something you really want to do – that solo trip.
The Power of Silence and Reflection – emotional healing
Taking a solo trip enables us to find comfort in our own presence and to become our own friend. I read something recently which said, ‘don’t rush to fill the silence.’ The quiet we experience on a solo trip can be so healing. My very first solo trip was to a remote cottage on the peninsula of Ardnamurchan on the West coast of Scotland. I stayed in a remote cottage, saw very few people. One evening I sat on a sand dune, wrapped in a blanket, a glass of wine in my hand watching the sun set. In that moment I made a conscious decision to forgive my ex and to move forward in my new life without him. It was an important moment in my healing and came about because I was immersed in silence and solitude for the first time since my divorce. Can you relate? Have there been similar moments in your healing journey?
If you are one of the many women begin their solo travel journey following some kind of emotional upheaval, whether that be a divorce or a death of a parent or other loved one, or having an empty nest at home. Solitude, solo travel and the silence this brings with it, can be a powerful tool for emotional healing and personal growth. Away from the noise of daily life and others’ expectations, you can truly hear your own thoughts.
Rushing to fill the silence is something that Elizabeth Gilbert struggled with in her memoir, “Eat, Pray, Love.” Following a divorce she was trying to fill the void of her grief with new experiences. It was only when she took time away from her home on heryear-long journey of self-discovery through Italy, India, and Indonesia that she began to find herself again. Through travelling solo, food, meditation, and new relationships, she reconnected with herself, finding peace and a sense of identity outside of her previous roles. By spending time by herself, she was able to make new connections that filled her up, rather than drained her energy. If you haven’t yet read this new classic, I recommend you do. It may help you find your own path towards your journey within, towards healing whatever wound you are struggling with.
Solo Travel – How Journalling Can Transform your Life
Turning to keeping a journal can be a powerful step towards healing and journeying within. Journalling about your days, whether in the evening in your hotel room, or sat in a tiny coffee shop, brings us more awareness about what makes us happy, what we find challenging and how proud we can be of our journey. It will help you not only have a fabulous record of your trip, but also the chance to explore your grief, loss or anything that has been niggling away at your subconscious.
When you are in flux, experiencing so many new sights, journalling can be a very grounding experience. It can bring you back to the present, help you refocus on what is important to you and through up surprising insights and connections.
Is journalling something you have found helpful? Maybe give it a go, you may end up surprised at what it reveals. If you struggle with what to write, here are some prompts to start you off.
The Lasting Transformation
Another great thing about solo travel, is that the impact of journeying within doesn’t end when the trip does. All the newfound self-awareness, confidence, and healing you have done on your trip comes home with you. Many women find that they experience a clearer sense of direction, or a renewed motivation to pursue passions or make life changes after their solo trip. After all, if you can navigate your way in a foreign environment, you can easily tackle passive-aggressive digs from your boss and begin the search for a better job that will allow you to flourish.
To Conclude
We can see now, that solo travel can be about so much more than just exploring new destinations; it can also be a journey within, into yourself. It can be about peeling back the layers of who you think you are and discovering the person underneath—the one who makes decisions for herself, embraces the quiet, and finds strength in solitude. You may leave home feeling unsure or fearful, but you return with a deep sense of empowerment, a renewed confidence, and a clearer understanding of what truly matters.
So, take that first step to let solo travel transform your life. Book the ticket, pack the bag, and set out on the road ahead. You’ll be surprised at how much further you’ll travel within than any map could ever show. After all, courage doesn’t just expand your world—it transforms it.
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