How to Build the Confidence to Travel Solo as a Woman Over 40

How do you build the confidence to travel solo? For every woman that is out there exploring the world, there is another who would love to join her, but finding herself solo, lacks the confidence to step on a plane and go.

This guide will help you take the steps you need to help build your confidence to take that first step.

It’s all about the baby steps

Baby steps mean you are just tiptoing out of your comfort zone. No jumping in the deep end here!

But every step you take will lead you closer to your goal of stepping off that plane in a new country.

I find it really interesting that otherwise competent, intelligent women, who successfully run their own lives and the lives of their families, with all the organisational skills that requires, still struggle with the concept of travelling alone. I say this without judgement, as for many years I was also that woman.

You already have the skills

I also point it out, because I believe it’s important to acknowledge this. Too many of us would brush off the idea of being competent and organised, thinking it is nothing special. But in doing so we are belittling the skills that we have developed and use on a daily basis.

Getting a family of 4 out of the door and to school, on time, every morning, with the accompanying variety of packed lunches, PE kits, consent form, musical instrument etc. is no mean feat. Those skills are going to help you negotiate your way through a foreign airport. With your time management you’re going to be able to plan transfers. All those times you co-ordinated dropping off child A at football, child B at swimming and collecting child C from their friend’s house are going to help you navigate planning routes. You have the skills to manage this, it’s only the confidence and self-belief that is missing.

Read on to see my checklist to help you build the confidence to travel solo for that first time.

So how are you going to build up the confidence and self-belief to take this first step towards your solo travel dream.

Manifesting

Imagine the pride in yourself and the feeling of accomplishment you will experience on managing what you thought you couldn’t. I was seriously chuffed with myself at managing to find my way out of Venice airport, to the right boat stop and get off at the correct destination. Like, seriously pleased with myself!!

We’ve maybe all read about manifesting and wondered what exactly it entailed. Basically it involves imagining and living in the feeling as if you were already in that position. So for example you imagine yourself successfully navigating a foreign airport, confidently getting the correct bus into town and arriving at your hotel, feeling relaxed and excited to start you trip. But don’t just imagine it. Feel it. Feel the emotions that you connect with that success. Do this often enough and you will train your brain to believe it too.

Have a listen to the YouTube video below and see if it resonates with you.

Push ourselves out of our comfort zone

We only grow when we push ourselves out of our comfort zone. You cannot build your confidence to travel solo without feeling a little uncomfortable in the process. Change is uncomfortable, but it’s how we grow.

build the confidence to travel solo

Begin by identifying you fears. This in itself can be an uncomfortable experience. But until you can identify exactly what is is that is stopping you, then your fear is going to remain a general nagging pain. The only way to cut it out is to acknowledge it. Writing your fears down can in itself lessen them, if not, I have written another post about dispelling common solo travel fears: Solo Travel Fear is Real check it out, I offer practical solutions.

So, now we’ve acknowledged what our fears are, how can we move through them to a place of comfort? Below are 7 baby steps you can take to build your confidence to travel solo, step by step.

Step 1: Go out for coffee

Start small. Take a deep breath, and a book, your phone, a magazine – anything that you can focus on. that will take your mind off being on your own. Sit towards the back of the coffee shop to enable you to people watch discreetly. Or by a window to watch the world go by.

You will soon realise that no-one is paying any attention to you and you can relax and enjoy a peaceful break from your busy day. One of my favourite weekend activities is to take my laptop and have coffee and brunch at my local cafe. It has amazing views out over the sea and I can sit and work away in an environment different to home.

Step 2: Visit a museum

It doesn’t have to be a museum, it could be any other kind of tourist attraction that you have near you. Maybe there’s a visiting exhibition, or a agricultural show, or even a farmer’s market – it really doesn’t matter what you are visiting. The idea is wander around, surrounded by other tourists, to become comfortable in your own skin. This will reinforce the realisation you made in step one: that people aren’t that interested in what you’re doing.

Step 3: Find like-minded people on FB to chat with

FaceBook is a great place to build your confidence. There are many private groups for women who travel solo. Joining these will really build your confidence. It’s that ‘well if they can all do this, surely I can too,’ mindset. You will be able to engage with ladies of a similar age and learn from all the conversations. And tips that people share. This is the number one place in which I found my confidence to travel solo. The women are so inspiring. Here are 3 that I particularly like, to start you off:

Women Who Travel: a large group for all ages of women https://www.facebook.com/groups/womenwhotraveltheworld/

Wanderful Women Who Travel https://www.facebook.com/groups/gogirlsofthworld/

Women Who Travel (Women 40+) https://www.facebook.com/groups/1476077399354002/

Step 4: Have lunch on your own

This is a big step for a lot of people. However, the need to eat eventually overrides any uncomfortable feelings. Think on it this way. You’ve successfully had coffee, you’ve gone out and engaged in an activity o your own. You can do this.

Choose somewhere you feel comfortable. Some people like to eat in a cafe they use regularly, as they like that feeling of familiarity. Others prefer to take this step away from their home environment, so they don’t have to deal with bumping into people they know. Either choice is fine, whichever works best for you. Just take the step.

You can do as before, take along something to read or do while you are waiting for your food to arrive. Maybe listen to a podcast. But try and put those to the side when your food arrives to allow you to focus on the pleasure of the meal you are eating.

If you’re feeling good about the situation, try stay for a coffee after the meal, to allow you to sit and relax. And feel super pleased with yourself for having accomplished another step on your journey to building your confidence for solo travel

Step 5: Sign up for a new group activity

Maybe your local town has walking tours? Maybe there’s a yoga class you’ve been meaning to try. Now is the time to take that step. By now you should be feeling a little more comfortable on your own skin and up for this challenge. It should give you the chance to engage and chat with new people. A skill you will utilise when travelling solo. Try just saying hello, I’m new here…people will respond in a positive manner, I promise.

Step 6: Stay overnight in a hotel

Think of it as a trial run. If you’ve been used to being in a partnership for a number of years, the idea of taking yourself off for a wee break on your own can sit as a very strange, uncomfortable idea. Maybe choose a hotel with an activity you enjoy? I’m always up for a spa experience, but maybe you’d prefer golfing or horse riding or hiking.

If you don’t plan on staying in hotels when you travel, if you prefer the idea of Air B&B or hostels. Tthen choose that option instead. The first place I went alone was a rented cottage on the Ardumurchan peninsula in Scotland. It was me and my dog and amazing peaceful scenery. I barely spoke to another person my whole trip. But I didn’t ever get bored, didn’t miss home at all. And was able to relax completely knowing I had no responsibilities. It was a much needed respite for life at the time. I hope you will be able to view your own trip in the same light.

Step 7: Do lots and lots of planning

Then the exciting part begins. You are now ready to take your first fledgling flight abroad. Read travel guides and blogs on your destination. Travel guides give practical advice. However, blogs also do that along with giving a much better first hand experience of what to expect. They’ll tell you of anything you need to be aware of and little tips to help.

My advice is to do lots and lots of planning. Knowing what to expect makes us feel safe. Recognizing the exit of the airport, from the googling you did, goes a long way to staying those nerves and reassuring you that you’re doing ok.

Make sure you have the directions to your accommodation printed out.

Know what form of transport you are taking, where to go to find it. And how much you should expect it to cost.

Now all there is left to do is be super happy you found the confidence to take this solo trip and enjoy your it. Enjoy your destination. Enjoy your new-found confidence. I’m proud of you 🙂

Do you have any tips that have helped you build up your confidence for solo female travel? Help others by sharing them in the comments below

Steps To Solo Travel Checklist

Don’t leave without downloading the checklist below to track your own journey to building the confidence to travel solo