Why are we women so afraid to travel solo?
Solo travel fear is a real thing. But why? I believe it’s a combination of social conditioning, lack of self-belief and confidence in our abilities and a fear of the unknown.
In this post I confront the most common fears I have come across, which prevent women like you taking that step into solo travel, and hopefully, offer some words and practical advice that will help you overcome those fears.
Solo female travel is one of the largest growing areas of travel.
Some facts:
According to Abta’s latest annual Holiday Habits survey, one in nine holidaymakers reported that they took a holiday on their own in the previous 12 months – double the number compared to six years previous.
Hitwise, the UK’s largest online behavioural research tool, said that from analysing searches made by 3 million consumers in the UK, across all search engines, there was a 143 per cent increase in “solo travel” searches over the past three years.
Pinterest, recent numbers are even higher – searches for “solo travel” up by nearly 600 per cent this year.
Travel companies dedicated to woman-only clientele increasing by 230%. expected that $125 billion will be spent by women on travel this year. (Source: https://www.condorferries.co.uk/female-travel-statistics
There are a lot of posts about solo travel fear in FB travel groups that I’m part of. The other day I thought I’d put the question out myself to see if there were fears that I hadn’t thought about. It was shocking how many responses I got – literally hundreds!
Some of them are more vague, others very specific. I’m going to give some advice based on my own experiences and that I’ve heard from other more experienced travellers.
How to Overcome Solo travel fear 1: getting lost
My main fear before my first journey was that I would get lost. And for anyone that doesn’t know me, this is not an irrational fear! I have literally no sense of direction. One great tip that I use is to take photos of the street turnings and signs or anything that stands out on my route away from my accommodation, the theory being that by looking at my photos on my return I can figure out the route in reverse. It’s been working for me so far!
Getting Lost in London
I had no idea how I was going to negotiate an entirely new country. This turns out to be a really common fear for many women. Linked to this is the worry of finding your hotel / hostel either from the airport or after you’ve been out for the day.
So what can you do to allay this fear? Quite a lot actually. Let’s take finding your way to your hotel 1st, as that’s the 1st thing you’re going to have to do on arrival.
The main thing is to plan before you leave. Google the directions and save them to your phone. But I would also recommend printing them off – what if your phone doesn’t work!! (I’ll come to that later).
Before I went to Italy I googled how to get to San Marco – where I was staying – from the airport. Turned out I had to take a boat – exciting! This website literally walked me through the steps of buying a ticket, where to exit the airport and directed me to the boat stop. And it worked. I was feeling really pleased with myself!
When you type in public transportation, Google returns the number of stops and their names, which is useful when you’re out for the day sightseeing. A lot of modern transport has electronic boards that show this. Trams in Amsterdam were the best at this, I never felt unsure about where I was or where I should get off
What need to do
Also know the address of your accommodation. Have it printed out if you don’t speak the language. Once you get there take a business card to carry with you.
If you are really stressed about this, budget for a taxi to your accomodation from the airport. We arrive after a long flight, tired and the last thing we need is getting stressed not able to find our way – it leads to tears and is not a great way tp start your trip. I’m speaking from personal experince here, burt I ‘m sure I’m not the only one. On my recent trip to Barcelona the taxi was only thirty Euros and as my accommodation was up a narrow path in the old quarter I was super glad I hadn’t had totry figure out my route through the maze of timey streets.
Arriving at night
It would be best to arrive at your destination during the day, if this is at all possible. If you can’t avoid arriving late at night I would 100% recommend booking a transfer through your hotel. Someone will meet you there and take all the stress away as they whisk you off to your accommodation. It doesn’t have to be a fancy hotel, lots of hostels offer this service too. The last thing you need at the start of your holiday is an anxiety inducing experience.
You’ll learn about yourself
And this is another thing I’ve learned about myself – my sense of direction is worse when I’m tired. So maybe budget to splurge on a taxi back to your accommodation if you’ve been out late somewhere. I got hopelessly lost coming out of a theatre late in the evening in London. After getting to the panicky and tearful stage I chose to hail a black cab to get to my hostel. It was the best decision. I was safe and returned home within 10 minutes.
This is where google can let you down. It tries to be too helpful. So if you start walking in the opposite direction, google will helpfully reroute and reroute and reroute… you get the idea. I hear that maps.me is much better in city environments, I haven’t personally tried it yet but I’m going to.
So I rely on my phone for directions all the time. Which generally works great. However, You need to remember to take a portable charger or backup battery with you. You will be amazed at how much you use your battery if you are taking photos and videos and maybe listening to a directed walk or just for directions. My phone battery never lasts a day. And there is nothing more stress inducing than that panic about how to find your way back at the end of the day…
Sim Cards
A note about sim cars. Check before yo fly if your mobile service will operate in the country you are visiting. Also check the costs involved. Whilst travelling in Europe most UK phones work at no extra charge (let’s hope that continues post Brexit!) If you find you need a sim card make sure you unlock your phone before travel.
Sim cards are usually available at the airport on arrival, some suggest buying elsewhere for the cost, but I guess that depends on your level on reliance on your phone. My level is high, so it would probably be worth it for my peace of mind to have access quicker.
And so, to recap…
1. Google before you leave and print directions to your accommodation
2. Use google maps or maps.me or similar
3. Have a back up battery or power charger
4. Get a transfer late at night
5. Pick up a business card from your accommodation
6. Don’t be afraid to ask people. Travelling has taught me that people are generally helpful and will happily point you in the right direction
2: eating alone
I struggled with this initially, but I love food and I think that helped. We often worry about being judged without reason. It’s becoming more and more common for women to be on their own. Tips to help combat this
Practise at home – start with just a coffee
Buy local food from a local deli or coffee shop as a takeaway and sit outside to eat. Ist morning I bought coffee and a pastry sat in San Marco – so happy, square was empty.
Eat your main meal at lunch if going out for dinner is too much, usually more relaxed less formal and bonus cheaper
Choose café’s with outside seating so you can people watch
Take a book
Write your journal
Sort your photos
Trust me that the more you do this the less you will worry – I’m not concerned by this at all now
How to Overcome Solo Travel Fear 3: being mugged /raped/ murdered
Let’s deal with them one at a time; to start with: getting mugged
Street smarts you would you in your own town – do you walk your own town in fear? Probably not
Don’t walk down dark alleys on your own – don’t take that short cut!
Use a cross over bag or a day rucksack – zipped up!
your purse zipped in a separate section within – better to take a minute to find your money than have it easy for someone to dip into
If this is a big concern for you, you can get a specific bag. Travelon is a company that I like – they have bags that have clips for the zips, anti card reading fabric that’s also slash resistant.
You can also buy t-shirts and scarfs with hidden pockets, money belts and neck purses. I have both a neck purse which I mainly just use for getting through airports, as it’s handy for passports and boarding cards and a scarf with a hidden zip pocket. I wear the scarf a lot and carry extra cash in it, which I only transfer to my purse when I need to.
Tips for being safe out & about
Be aware, walking through a crowded tourist site or market walk with your hand resting on the top on the zip. Wear it at the front. Tie a scarf over it often you have to carry one to enter temples or churches, instead of keeping it in your bag– all these things make your bag less of a target – someone else will be an easier one.
When you stop for a break in a cafe or bar – DO NOT put your bag down on the floor or sit it on the table or a spare chair. Someone could simply walk past and pick it up as they do so. If you want to sit it on the floor make sure you loop a handle through your chair leg. Keep it on your lap. I’m terrible at this as I live in such a safe place, I have to constantly check myself – I hear my best friend’s voice in my head!!
Don’t wear lots of expensive jewellery – leave it at home. Or if jewellery is your thing, try be discreet. Prominent displays of wealth are more likely to make yo a target. And make sure you have insurance
Remember – Serious crimes are rare
When we turn to issues of rape and murder it’s good to remind ourselves that it’s rare. If you worry about this stick to tourist haunts and stay out of local hangouts.
Dress conservatively. I know there are whole argument surrounding this issue. And I truly believe women should be able to wear what they want, when they want and be safe. But unfortunately that is not the world we live in. Respect other cultures, what goes on the beach back home, may not be appropriate walking the streets in your chosen destination. Remember most churches require knees and shoulders to be covered as a sign of respect, so carrying a light scarf or sarong can be useful.
Watch your drink! You wouldn’t leave you’re drink unattended in a bar at home, so don’t do it abroad!
Also keep in mind
A lot of younger women are worried about being kidnapped and sex trafficking. Thankfully, with my age this isn’t something that ever crossed my mind – but it came up a lot with younger women. My only advise for this would be watch your drink, and don’t get crazy drunk as it makes you vulnerable. We’ve all made questionable decisions under the influence.
Use Uber or the countries equivalent – Grab in SE Asia, or a registered taxi find out the local on call car service (like Uber) and load the app onto your phone. Like Careem in Egypt (owned by Uber) or Cabify in Barcelona. Ask at your hotel / hostel for the local number or app.
4: feeling lonely / dealing with being alone
I’m quite good with my own company but if you find yourself craving company think about ways to join groups.
One resolution is to join day trips or hostel social events. Hostels are not just for 18-25 year olds, most accept all ages. There are a few that only cater to under 40’s, but they are probably ‘party hostels’ and who wants to stay there anyway?!!
What I’m trying to say is that hostels cater towards solo travellers and usually have outings on offer, where you can easily meet others. they are much more social than hotels. If the idea of sharing a room or bathroom is not for you, don’t write them off. Most hostels have private rooms as well as dorms.
Practise speaking to people – I still need to work on this, I’m really not good at it. Many women I’ve spoken to can strike up a conversation with anyone. The introvert within me shrinks at the very thought.
There are also apps like couchsurfer and meet-up which have the ability to search for like minded people in the city you are in. Just use your sense and meet in a public place to suss out that they’re genuine.
On a positive note, most women who worried about feeling lonely beforehand reported that it was actually rarely an issue once they set off travelling.
Overcoming Solo Travel Fear 5: language barriers
Not being able to communicate was a solo travel fear of many women, especially if, like me, you only speak English, so I totally get this.
You could learn at least a few words of the language before you go. I used the free app Coffee Break to learn some Italian. I wanted to be able to ask and understand directions (common thread here for me! ) order food etc. However, as I was in very touristy areas, I found everyone spoke English.
Use an app to help you communicate
Coffee Break do French, Spanish, Mandarin, German and Italian. It’s in short – coffee break – sized chunks and works. I really liked it.
It might make you feel more confident though to have a bit of knowledge of the local language. Even just hello and thankyou
Hope these tips have been useful for you
So hopefully these tips have been helpful for you in allaying your solo travel fear. I hope you enjoyed reading. If you have a solo travel fear that I didn’t address hear, or any other tips for fellow women travellers, let me know in the comments below.
If you enjoyed this post, why not check out more solo female travel content here: https://travelingerelax.com/build-the-confidence-to-travel-solo/
